I STILL LOVE MY LIGHT: HERE'S HOW WE MET

So I'm an ambivert. Which, for me, means I don't have any problem talking to people (except adults but that's because of trauma) but I will try to avoid it at all costs because I don't have the spoons to deal with that.

She is an introvert.

An extrovert, who I will call Absolute-Piece-Of-Shit-That-We-Were-Surviving-Together-Without-Even-Knowing (or APOSTWWSTWEK for short, or Apos for... even shorter) adopted us. Aka: Apos was "friends" with Marcie and talked to her sometimes during breaks and, because I followed Apos everywhere because I didn't have any other "friend" at the time, I saw her from afar and MAYBE said hello.

Fast forward to Apos' (and mine as well) graduation. She's being extroverted and ignoring us and, because of that, we have the same idea of hiding under a big tree and there's where we meet again.

Marcie (or me idk) goes/go: "Hey, have ya, um, have ya seen there's a new Spierman movie coming out?"

"Ye, seems cool, animated and stuff, I like animation"

"Epic, wanted to go see watch it with some friends but uh, I don't have any"

"Yeah, me neither, wanna go together?"

AND THAT'S WHAT I'M COINING AS OUR FIRST DATE

Going to the movies together???? Idk man /gn (gender neutral), that seems PREEETTYYY gay of us.

So, weeks pass and we're hanging out consistently now because our experience in the movie theatre together was positive for both of us. We watched Oppenheimmer, then decided we couldn't only hang out in the movies becaause it would get expensive fast, hanged out at her house, my house, then her house another 2363746 times watching Ghibli movies and THEN IT HAPPENED.

I was writing about my favoute cannibal OC and, for funsies, wanted to make him a flag. And so I searched on Tumblr for cannibalistic flags (THIS IS RELATED JUST WAIT A SECOND!!!) and found one that was Super Awesome™. So I downloaded the template and made my own flags for these characters:

Cannibalistic Transmasc Case Flag


Cannibalistic Transmasc Flag: For when you experience cannibalistic attraction and are transmasc (two completely different experiences combined in one flag, neat!)


Cannibalistic Aroace Novem Flag


Cannibalistic Aroace: For when you experience cannibalistic attraction instead of romantic and sexual attraction.


And now's the time to remind people that HEY, I DON'T CONDONE KILLING AND EATING SOMEONE WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT (aka 99.999999% of the time), THANKS. ALSO I'M NOT A CANNIBAL MYSELF!!! These are just for funsies, for my little OCs (yeah, yeah, maybe the flag doesn't apply to Novem but shh the colours looked cool). Oh! Talking about colours, when doing the flags I noticed Case's and Novem's colour palettes were similar to the transmasc and aroace flags and I said "fuck it, they're queer now" and arranged their palette accordingly.

AAANYWAY, in my research for cannibalistic flags, I found one that was about cannibalistic adornic attraction. And I was like ??? What's that??? And turns it's literally me!!


"This type of attraction can be described as adoration for the other(s). It should feel warm and comfortable. Adornic attraction thrives off of happiness, two (or more) people in an adornic relationship should make each other happy, laugh, and overall give them a warm feeling that is unlike that of romantic attraction."


This is NOT my OCs AT ALL btw lmao. Anywaaaay, I showed Marcy about it!!

And i gave her a sexuality crisis... Right after her gender crisis... yikes (sorry bbg, i'm just ??? like that).

So, we talked about the different types of attraction we felt... how we felt about each other and... yk hehe (maniacal laughter). Sent her a screenshot of the definition of what a QPR was and then attached it to the next WhatsApp sticker:

An image of Bullfrog from Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix (A SHOW SHE DOESN'T KNOW BTW) that says "ya wanna?" in Spanish while holding a Tropical Juice.

I know, I know, I have WAY too much rizz for the average human, it's INSANE.

But it worked. Surprisingly for many, obviously for me B']

So yeah, that's our story!!

US NOW

What exactly do we do now that we're in a relationship that we didn't do as friends?

Uuuuh, climb a mountain- she kissed me on the cheek once!! I have kissed her on the cheek many times in my mind but I just SUCK so much at expresing my love it's depressing (/j my rizz is so big if any of it escaped my body the world would explode, I'm actually just saving y'all. you're welcome).

Our goals for now are hanging out as much as possible (because I leave far (and by far I mean 15 minute ride, WHICH IS A LOT BY EUROPEAN STANDARDS, IF YOU'RE AMERICAN AND YOU FEEL THAT'S NOTHING YOU SHOULD PROBABLY REFLECT ON THE STATE OF YOUR COUNTRY IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!!)), and watch every single Studio Ghibli movie. For my own sanity I will pretend we're half way done with the movies (we've watched like... 5 maybe, out of what feel like thousands).

WE WATCHED EMESIS BLUE AS A TINY GHIBLI BREAK AND IT WAS AWESOME I LOVE TF2 AND I LOVE MY LIGHT THEY'RE BOTH AWESOME!!


MY GOALS

    Here's a list of thing I would want to do in the future:
  • Tell her that I love her by voice (as of now I'm still struggling to do it through text sometimes)
  • Hold her hand in public more (as of now PDA makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable because traumaaa (was forced to do PDA in the past which seems silly until it's more than just kisses))
  • Be able to kiss her for once (cheek or/and lips) without it feeling weird (I hate my trauma sm for this, and, well, everything I guess lol nobody likes trauma)
  • Hug her a lot more
  • Finish that damn... TikTok trend together